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Written in Crayon ...@... Waiting for Karma .com

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About The Jokers Aren't Wild
... but deuces, red 4's, black 8's,
one eyed jacks and queens are wild.
I can't learn the rules 'cause they're never the same.
About Insurance
My insurance agent asked me if
anyone would find my lyrics offensive.
Pretty offensive eh?
About Humbuckers
I have to admit that I've often found comfort
in the forgiving warmth of a couple of humbuckers.
About Single Coil Awareness Week
More of an evening really.
I just said it as a joke but you know those Fender types.
Any excuse to whip out a Strat.
Last year it was in January
but this year I'm aiming for late August.
Glassy Eyed has 2 new Tele's, one of which is an Ash Custom Shop.
Plus he's bringing a custom built Strat with a piezo.
Very nice. I can't wait to A/B them.
About Italian Guitars
LowDown Jonny just bought one of those Markbass amps
I checked out the website. Impressive eh wot?
About 5 years ago at the height of MySpace,
I discovered a whole world of boutique Italian guitars
and they looked great.
I don't think I'd buy one though.
Maybe.
But It's a different aesthetic isn't it?
You know, that grandiose, ornate Italian prog rock thing.
I like it I guess,
but not as much as German power balladry.
About Rose Coloured Records
I just listened to an old LP
that I loved as a kid and it didn't
sound anything like I remembered it.
I was disappointed.
Maybe I should have just left it alone
playing in my mind the way I remembered it.
About Single Girl Chickens
I believe everything I read,
so when a journalist wrote a story about several of her girlfriends
getting a craving for BBQ chicken and then devouring one
in the supermarket parking lot, I knew it must be true because
I'd seen a bag of bones in the parking spot closest to the door.
About A Mile in Someone Else's Shoes
I start becoming less sympathetic after
only a couple of steps in sandals.
About Candlelit Recordings
After everyone had left I whipped out my crayons and wrote
"In a Medieval Mood"
which I recorded with the light on.
Maybe I'll record a different version by candle light
just to see what the difference is.
About Candles
Candles are great for atmosphere and ambiance and whatnot but
lots of musicians seem to need about a dozen of them going
before they can get themselves "in the mood".
About My Facebook Dilemma
I really wanted to say something but ...
a little time went by and then, out of the blue,
I had one of those eureka moments.
For once, maybe even the first time ever,
I wouldn't say anything.
About The Big Cheque Pogo
I saw a guy I know doing the "Happy Dance" on TV.
It was a dazzling display of twinkletoemanship.
About Elevens
On Remembrance Day 11/11/11
a stray cat I'd sheltered had kittens in my workshop.
I'm going to keep one and name him Eleven.
About Rent a Witness
My new business venture is working out
way better than I ever thought it would.
All the great ideas are obvious eh?
About Lost Time
With the introduction of tempo limits and
the regulation of dangerous time signatures
it appears that rhythm worker layoffs are inevitable.
About Making the Same Mistakes
One particular mistake I keep making
is believing that people will actually do
what they say they're going to do.
About Rehearsal Scares
Whew! That was close!
For a couple of weeks there it looked like
I'd be recording a few tracks with a real drummer.
oops, I meant "rhythm worker".
About Discriminating Tastes
I just met a drummer who hates the same make of drums as me,
but for a completely different reason.
About Surprising Revelations
I didn't say anything at the time but
I'm so glad that I did the homework.
About Harmony
A friend of mine recently mentioned
that one of his bands songs featured four part harmony,
when actually it was four guys singing two notes.
?? ..... !
About Hi & Lo Maintenance
Whenever I want to undo damage or repair something
I always start with "wishing and hoping",
'cause it actually worked once.
About Humbucking Pickups.
So much for that whole "year of the single coil" thing eh?
About Single Coil Pickups
It's one of my "New Year's Resolutions" to thin out my guitar sound
and what better way than to join in the festivities surrounding ...

"Single Coil Awareness Week"



taking place in Toronto the week of January 24th through 29th.
About Stratocasters
Does anyone find it surprising that so many guitarists
play the same make & model of guitar?
About Tone Bottles
Whoo Hoo! I've got new tubes in my amp.
I've been burnin' the midnight oil in "The Tone Lab"
dialing in "a nice balanced haze of harmonic distortion".
About Underlying Issues
The studio provides an excellent environment
for bringing simmering issues to the boil.
About the Personal in your Professional
Last night at the studio a couple of musicians
spent about half an hour accusing each other
of allowing their personal feelings to interfere with their work.
While they were going on and on I realized that
musicians always bring their personal feelings into their work.
It's the "Underlying Issues" that cause the interference.
About Mr Klangfarben
Mr. K is the guy who used to ask, over and over and over again
"Are there really bridges in clusters?"
It's the second time in two years I've almost run into him, literally,
after not seeing the cluster f*#@x&$%+%=0$!! ... for 20 years.
About Defenseless Pedestrians
Mr. Klangfarben walked right in front of my car today.
I waited in the intersection until he reached the curb.
We're both still waiting for karma.
About Car Stereo Surprises
I hopped in my car with what I thought was "Exile",
the mid nineties Bob Ludwig remastered version,
but it turned out to be "Beggars Banquet".
Sublime.
About "Exile on Main Street" Redux
Whenever I have a problem I always ask myself
"What would Keith Richards do?"
About Personal Expression
Sometimes I find comfort in herd-mentality expression.
About the Shit List
Recently I visited my buddy at Dadgad & Zig Zag Studio.
He had a "Shit List" pinned to a bulletin board beside his desk
and I knew some of the people on it.
If I had a "Shit List" they'd be on mine too.
About Blogging
... and on the rare occasion when I think of something Xtra clever
it usually gives me an idea for a song and I'd almost always prefer to
"lip off over guitars and drums".
About Blogs
I have to admit to being impressed by bloggers who crank out
copious quantities of words, pictures, videos, and links every day.
I seem to have a hard time coming up with one coherent sentence a month.
About Meeting a Magician
... at The Mandarin I met "The Merlin of Maintenance"
who recommended that I try to retain my Burger King virginity
even though the place is "pretty good".
About The Mandarin
It is true that I finally lost my "Mandarin" virginity!
The chinese buffet restaurant is the only place
that "The Great Justino" will dine at,
so ...
About Burger King & Pizza Hut
I've never had the pleasure of dining at either
Burger King or Pizza Hut so I've decided to
make a conscious effort to resist
and maintain my unblemished record.
About Loopholes
Sometimes you get a second chance.
About Going to the Movies
I'm kinda thinking that maybe the audience
should be getting paid to watch.
You know, to cover time & expenses & pain & suffering.
About Les Paul
Farewell Les Paul 1915 June 9 - 2009 August 13
About Losing Touch
Have you ever had someone you've known for years
say or do something so unexpected that it makes you wonder
how well you ever really know anyone?
About Graffiti ...@... Waiting for Karma .com
Graffiti is currently, what? Under review? Pretty much toast?...
because,
after being locked in a relentless six month battle against spam,
I've reluctantly had to retreat & regroup ...
Sooo ... "Graffiti" and "Sign the Guestbook" have been suspended,
pending a weapons upgrade and a "performance review".
To get to Graffiti click on More Graffiti on the News page.
About Summer in Canada
It's finally summer here in Canada and everybody smells like coconuts.
About Loss Leaders
This month I'm playing with actuarial ideas ... ?
If recorded music is free and just a loss leader for live shows,
then recording professionals are an endangered species. ( doomed? )
Aren't they?
About Vacancies
I dropped by "Electric LarryLand" Studio yesterday and ...
well, actually I didn't because nobody was there.
As my old man would've said, "He's done a moonlight flit."
About You Tube
You Tube is on track to lose $470 million dollars this year.
Whoo Hoo! $$$ !? That's Lots!
When do you think Google will become less charitable?
About Endless Playlists
Listeners will include what they like
and exclude what they're "indifferent" about
in their own endless playlist.
About New Mediums
... is this also the end for artists assembling
a collection of songs into a specific order?
About Old Mediums
Now that CD's are reaching the end of the line ...
riff raff records .com . . . presents
Music Written in Crayon ~ vol. 3
Delicious & Nutritious Electric Guitar Tracks

Guaranteed to exceed all nutritional requirements
for extended aural health.




About Old Media
The other day I transferred a few songs from cassette to CD to mp3
for a buddy who read agenda journalism while he waited.
About Anonymous Sources
Credibility evaporates like a vapour trail.
About Personality
I have a friend who is blessed with multiple personalities.
Way back when I used to have a personality I only had one.
Life's just not fair.
About Being Honest
O'kay, I've got to say that my month long experiment
where I endeavored to jump on the bandwagon
and offer only insults and unqualified criticism
worked out pretty good considering it didn't come to me naturally.
That said, it was nowhere near as entertaining as the month when,
inspired by a ridiculous movie, I decided to make an effort to speak
the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me Eric Clapton Jeff Beck.
At the time people were justifying their remarks as "just being honest"
but obviously this wasn't the "positive development" you'd expect.
Imagine the possibilities! It's fun! ... Isn't it?
I got to enjoy everything from a slight pinching of the nostrils
to a beet red, bulging veins in the forehead, petulant frenzy!
About Compliments
I think I got that old saying backwards. Maybe it's supposed to be ...
"If you haven't got anything "bad" to say, don't say it."
I'm gonna try it for a month and see how I like it.
About The Canadian Music Marketing Board
According to the latest "Supply Management" regulations
I've written too many songs and exceeded my quota.
In an effort to "protect" music consumers from lower prices
and a wider selection the CMMB has exercised it's mandate
and imposed a 45 day suspension of my artistic license.
Thank You Commissar Summeroff !
About Fresh Perspectives
Everyday is a school day.
About Frank Sinatra
Ol' Blue Eyes passed away ten tears ago today
and he's still giving lessons.
About Feelings
I understand how people feel because
I've had sensitivity training twice.
About The Disappearance of Bongo DeLuxe
I don't know him, I've never heard of him,
and I have no idea where he could be found.
About Credits
In order to comply with the latest, stringent, "allowable credit" regulations,
introduced to address the credibility inflation issue,
"Credits" will henceforth be found listed under "Liabilities".
About Time Machines
DNA results confirm that we are all unique individual time machines.
riff raff records .com . . . presents
Waiting for Karma . . . examining . . . Counterfeit Glory

Martyrs devoted to lost causes & other love songs.




About Progressive Garage Rock
Essentially, I've been working on this concept since I was a kid.
About Audio Forensics
After accidentally hanging a halo of static over a mix
I recalled an interview with the legendary Les Paul
where he said "most people listen with their eyes".
Whew! Lucky for me!
About Remembrance Day
On Remembrance Day we recognize the cost of our freedom.
About Musical Forensics
Sometimes, when I take apart a song that I like
I'm disappointed by what I find.
Magic rarely survives scrutiny under a microscope.
About Mr. Jimmy
Mr. Jimmy is Alive and Well

I can confirm that the demise of my friend " Jimmy the TV Producer "
was greatly exaggerated because he just came waltzing "La Dee Da"
into Flying Colours Studio, the picture of health in a flashy suit,
and ready to party at the Toronto International Film Festival.
Isn't that great? Hooray!
About Creativity
I'm forever trying to find a better way through the next chord.
About The Listening Habits of A & R Guys
Listening for 45 seconds should be regarded as generous.
About Tuning
As part of the war on fun
guitarists are being threatened with ... accurate intonation!

... and now this on 2007 December 7

... and this 2010 July 7
About Dithering
Now that I've discovered what dithering is
maybe dilly dally can be rehabilitated too!
About Mastering @ the Redline
In a show of support for the "Dynamic Recording" movement
I've cut my Master Level by almost 1 db !! Someone had to go first eh?

Take "The Redline Challenge" Today!
It takes so little and means so much ... Won't You Help?
About Self Doubt
There was a moment a couple of weeks ago when I thought
maybe I should start talking about myself in the third person,
listing my liabilities as credits and showering myself with praise
like everybody else does, but then I snapped out of it.
About Lowering the Bar
Thanks to the influence of celebrity users who are "Lowering the Bar"
pretty soon there won't even be any stigma associated with using a capo.
About Acoustic Guitarists
Acoustic guitarists began migrating away from their natural
"around the campfire" habitat in favour of urban environments
when they were attracted by the "great barrels of fire"
lighting up the entrances to suburban industrial properties.
Cheerfully oblivious to the stigma of "Lowering the Bar",
they enthusiastically clamped their "2 plain" heavy gauge strings down
using a capo and adapted their "around the campfire"
open string style to their new more densely populated habitat.
Nowadays this tradition continues wherever people get together to
"Flick their Bics" wave their cellphones in the air during fun singalongs.
About Acoustic Guitars
I've never found one with a real bridge let alone a whammy bar
so that takes a bit of the fun out of it. Doesn't it?
About The Supernatural
I've been taking clairvoyant lessons every weekend for years
and I still find some things surprising, so I'm going to drop out!
About Social Justice for Drummers
No drummers were used, abused or otherwise harmed in the making of
Music Written in Crayon - vol. 2 >> Slick Electric Guitar Tracks
riff raff records .com . . . presents
Music Written in Crayon ~ vol. 2
Slick Electric Guitar Tracks . . . it's ediTopia !

Guaranteed to elevate visual productions & satiate sonic desires.




About Rhythm Worker Layoffs
Due to the recent "peaceful" protests by drummers rights activists,
all manual drumming has now been suspended pending the outcome of
a provincial government inquiry into the feasibility of introducing
tempo limits and regulating dangerous time signatures.
About Positive Reviews
From the inside looking out, I can see that
virtually all reviews reveal as much or more about the reviewer
as they do about the subject of the review.
About Negative Reviews
The worst so far was a guy with a tire iron.
Then again, maybe I should interpret it as a positive review
since he clearly understood what I was saying.
About Musical Genres
The walls between musical genres are so thin
that musicians often can't even see them.
About Dynamics
Ever since dynamics were outlawed back in '03 I've been in the red.
About Improving Your Band
One thing that always improves a band is individual practice.
About Sign Language
I was originally a Virgo, but recently, I had my sign legally changed to Leo
and wouldn't you know it! From my new perspective I can see that
it would be twice as good to be a Gemini.
About My Education as a "Hired Gun" Guitarist
When I discovered that my favourite songs
and the songs I was "indifferent" about
were composed of exactly the same chords,
I began to understand that,
beyond the technical qualities of the composition and performance,
which were all that had previously mattered to me,
the "Art" of it lay in the depth and clarity of expression,
and beyond into the underworld of what is being expressed, and why.
About Originality
The most original and unique you can be is to just be yourself.
riff raff records .com . . . presents
Music Written in Crayon ~ vol. 1
Abrasive Instrumental Tracks

Guaranteed to exfoliate stale sonics & leave eardrums refreshed.




About Music Written in Crayon
Waiting for Karma ... removes the language barrier ...
I visualize it as Waveform Porn.
About Recording
16 bit tracks leave a stain that just won't come out.
About Lyrics
The essential difference between poetry and lyrics is that
poetry is meant to be read, while lyrics are meant to be heard.
Even when they're written in crayon.
About Songwriting
Basically it comes down to...?#(xy)@?%&+/-3db>a?b?...=... the next chord,
then the melody threads through the chords...kinda like a musical pinball.
About Guitar
When I was a kid a friend of mine had a guitar teacher
who hated open chords. At the time I couldn't understand why.
About Bass
I'm so glad that I overcame my initial reluctance to play the bass.
I didn't know what I was missing.
About Drums
Only two drummers were harmed in the making of this recording.
About Vocals
If there's no lyric, there's no vocal.

An inspired aesthetic decision!
...and absolutly not a backlash
provoked by singers who pollute the instrumental breaks with
"Nah, Nah, Hey, Hey, or Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!"
About Music
Mine is mostly written in crayon.
About Vending Machines
I always liked the National 620,
but I loved the Seeburg Marquis.
About Science
Every piece of wire is an EQualizer.
About Art
We all start with a blank page and from there
the similarities diminish the further down the page we go.
About "Instant Carma"
Introducing "Instant Carma",
a microwavable synthetic karma substitute
developed to meet today's demands for instant gratification.
Like all acts of passion, simply apply heat
until reaching the boiling point.
Serve hot.
About Waiting for Karma
Waiting, of course, is always the hardest part.
Unfortunately, karma doesn't release it's full textured flavour
until it has been allowed to simmer before cooling off very slowly.
Before serving, chill veins with icewater
and then drizzle with surcharges to compensate for
waiting time & expenses.
Serve cold.
About Karma
It's sort of like justice postponed forever.
Defining Karma
noun: (in Hinduism and Buddhism)

The Collins Dictionary:
1. The principle of retributive justice
determining a person's state of life and the state of his reincarnations
as the effect of his past deeds.
2. Destiny or fate.
3. (informal) An aura or quality that a person, place, or thing is felt to have.

The Oxford Dictionary:
The sum of a person's actions in a previous existence,
thought to decide his or her fate in future existences.

The Random House Dictionary:
Action seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results,
good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation.

The 1949 Funk & Wagnalls New Practical Standard Dictionary:
The law of cause and effect regulating ones future life; inevitable retribution:
a Brahmanic idea developed by the Buddhists.

riff raff records .com . . . presents
Waiting for Karma . . . requesting that you . . . Move Up or Move Over

It's time for your performance review.




Colour Commentary
2005 January 2
It's music ... written in crayon.

2004 August 26
... and so here I am, making colours fly.

2004 May 28
But, a rainbow of colour remains.

2004 May 22
Or lose their shine.

2004 March 15
Sometimes the colours run, or hide.

2003 December 20
Others just failed to take flight.

2003 July 4
Some colours were spilled in the production of these recordings.


The Short Version
Sometimes I feel a little bit like one of those inmates who wake up
to find themselves inexplicably in control of the asylum!
As a "hired gun" guitarist I'd play anything, anytime, anywhere, but,
after years of defending musical integrity against incessant assaults
and with my resistance to compromise under siege,
the urge for rebellion became overwhelming!
I seized the microphone,
and opened the gate to a renaissance.
Committed to the pursuit of my own artistic goals,
I've now set forth on my own path armed with
an aggressive electric guitar style
and focused lyrics that reflect
an urbane and provocative point of view.
With melodies locked to contemporary rhythms,
subtle traces of sophisticated jazz harmony,
and layered guitars blazing trails of classical counterpoint,
this is truly a fusion of genres integrated into
a unique Rock and Roll sound.

o'kay ... o'kay ... It's just me lippin' off over guitars and drums !!
You'll like it !! . . . K.I.M.



Written in Crayon ...@... Waiting for Karma .com

Good Karma ... only 99 cents! ... Cheap! ...@... Waiting for Karma .com